Don’t die as a caterpillar

We all know how children develop: first words, first steps, bikes with stabilisers. Then, in no time at all, they’re driving cars and off to college. But what happens after that? How do we continue to learn and grow as adults?

Dr Robert Kegan is a developmental psychologist, author and Harvard University Professor. For years he was intrigued by how we develop as adults and identified different steps we go through (see here for more by Natali Morad). These are his five stages:

Stage 1: Impulsive mind (early childhood), stage 2: Imperial mind (adolescence), stage 3: Socialized mind (adulthood), stage 4: Self-Authoring mind (adulthood), stage 5: Self-Transforming mind (adulthood).

I’ll jump straight into stage two. This is about our personal needs and interests and how most of our relationships are transactional. We think about others, but only how they can impact our success because we really don’t care about those people. We follow rules because of the consequences, not because of our morals or values — we just don’t want to get caught. There are people on the global stage who are stuck at this level. I won’t name names.

Stage three is about ideas and beliefs, how we’re influenced by people and context, families, society, religions and culture. We step outside of ourselves and wonder what others might think of us —…